Constanza "Stanzi" Gladsome Wolfe

My mom, animal lover, whose dream was to be a veterinarian when she was little, made the difficult decision to have her German Shepherd, Stanzi, put down yesterday. Stanzi lived to be 13 1/2 years old. She was a little crazy in the head, to put it nicely, but a very loyal and beautiful dog in her day. We named her Stanzi after Mozart's wife (bunch of nerds we were!!!). My dad, hilariously, gave her her middle name. Where "Gladsome" came from, we'll never know. I guess she made him happy. I'm sure my dad would never outright admit to something like that, but there you have it.

I was a junior in high school when we got Stanzi, so she was my dog too. I remember hanging out at my boyfriend's house and my mom called me and told me I needed to come home ASAP, but she wouldn't tell me why. When I walked in the door, this beautiful and spunky little puppy greeted me and then slept in a ball on my pillow next to my head for the next several weeks. She kept me from getting too lonely, since my brothers had both moved out of the house at this point. She was loved!

I know there is usually some guilt necessarily built into a decision to have a pet put to sleep, but Mom, I know you made the right decision and you honored your dog by letting her maintain her dignity at the end.

R.I.P. Stanzi!

Mexican Chocolate Tofu Pudding

Yes, you read that right. Tofu Pudding. This recipe is out of this world!! So good you wanna slap yo mama!! Also, it is ridiculously easy to make.

Some notes of my own: I used a little more than 8 ounces of chocolate and the consistency of my pudding turned into more of a mousse. I also used a full teaspoon of chili powder and I still couldn't taste it. Next time, I will use chili powder AND cayenne pepper for an extra kick. Lastly, I did not chill mine in separate ramekins but rather in one large bowl and it took about 2 hours to chill properly.

You really do not taste tofu at all in this, but it gives the pudding such a wonderful texture.

Time: 10 minutes, plus 30 minutes’ chilling
3/4 cup sugar
1 pound silken tofu (*silken is the same as soft*)
8 ounces high-quality bittersweet or semisweet chocolate, melted
1 teaspoon vanilla extract
1 1/2 teaspoons ground cinnamon
1/2 teaspoon chili powder, or more to taste
Chocolate shavings (optional).

1. In a small pot, combine sugar with 3/4 cup water; bring to a boil and cook until sugar is dissolved, stirring occasionally. Cool slightly.

2. Put all ingredients except for chocolate shavings in a blender and purée until completely smooth, stopping machine to scrape down its sides if necessary. Divide among 4 to 6 ramekins and chill for at least 30 minutes. If you like, garnish with chocolate shavings before serving.

Recipe courtesy of the great Mark Bittman.

Poll Results

Only 2 of 15 respondents believe I am remiss in dressing my baby. Not bad. I'll keep rocking the white trash onesies in public, at least until he starts walking and needs shoes.

And now, a "Did you really just ask me that?" nursing story

As I was getting ready to leave the hospital Monday morning after a fairly grueling weekend, I was making my rounds, clearing out IV pumps, wishing my patients well, and seeing who wanted to be doped up one more time before day shift came on.

One of my patient's had a husband who was, shall we say, on the simple side. Red muscle shirt, unkempt facial hair, a bicep tattoo of a big bald eagle, trucker cap with a rebel flag on it, avid watcher of Ultimate Fighting Championship (which I gathered from the violent fist-pumping behavior he displayed while watching said fighting on TV as I was trying to get a history from my patient). This sounds like a caricature, but this is a real person.

Making my way out of the room, I say to the patient, "Your nurse today will be Samantha. She'll take good care of you, blah blah blah." The husband looks at me at whispers, "Is she white or black?" I said, "I don't see what possible difference that makes." Then he got all defensive and started faux-laughing, "Hey I didn't mean anything by it! Wow you really got a problem with that don't you? I was just wanting to know if she was black or white." To which I said, with a forced smile, "I guess you'll find out soon enough."

Then I sincerely wished the patient good luck, as she was one of the sicker patients on our floor, and skeedaddled.

I'm sure I'll get a negative customer service complaint on a stupid Press Gainey evaluation, but I don't care. I refuse to answer stupid questions fully loaded with racism. Don't care how simple ya are, don't care if that's all you've ever known, don't care if you've never been shown another way. I'm not telling you in advance what color your nurse's skin is so you can sit there and be satisfied or apprehensive, depending on who you're getting. Nope. Not playing.

Appropriately dressed?

Our recent google search history ....

In the last few weeks, either Adam or I typed the following into our google search bar:

- whisk
- how do you pronounce goethe
- how many cups in a quart
- my meat store (??)
- eleanor rigby lyrics
- helen keller hips
- how to become a technical writer
- pour one out
- guard la dame
- forecast percent chance meaning
- ink stain removal
- orbital pain
- tapioca substitute
- types of plastic

What a bizarre and wonderful time to be alive!

And I am definitely adding "The Tapioca Substitutes" to my long-running list of band names to draw from when I form a band someday.

Overheard Conversation

Visitor: "'Member that woman I had axed to marry me? We was supposed to get married a few months ago."
Patient: "Which one? The one that had done kilt her husband?"
Visitor: "Naw naw, the other one, the one who had been hooking up with that other woman's sister."
Patient: "Oh yeah!"

No joke.

1/2 year

I shamefully let Gus's 6 month birthday on Sunday pass without a mention. I am pretty convinced the 6 month old is the most perfect creature on earth.

Stats:
19 pounds, 5 ounces (75th %)
26.75 inches (80th %)

Milestones met:
- plays with hands and feet
- recognizes own name
- rolls over in both directions
- sits without support
- mouths objects

Not quite but working on it:
- passes objects from hand to hand
- lunges forward/starts crawling
- combines syllables
- drags objects towards himself

Blessed are the pure in heart, for they shall see God.

Uncle Ben passed away a little after noon. They decided to stop his pressors (drugs used to keep blood pressure up), but kept him on the vent. Within minutes of turning those drugs off, he slipped away peacefully and in no apparent pain or distress. Thanks for all the thoughts and prayers. He was surrounded by loved ones at the time of his death. I am so grateful for that.

Benny Boy

It is going to be a very hard and sad day for my family, as my great Uncle Ben is succumbing to a severe case of double pneumonia. He is in the ICU on a ventilator and is struggling mightily even with all the assistance that machine provides. He was born with Down Syndrome, and my grandmother, aka Nanny, has taken care of him, her baby brother, his whole life, but particularly after their mother died many many years ago. He is her world, and watching them over the years has been so amazing and inspirational. I doubt there are many more impressive examples of loyalty. I've certainly never seen any.

When I was little, I remember being afraid of my Uncle Ben, as I imagine most small children would be unless they were constantly around people with Down Syndrome. As much as I didn't want to go "hug his neck," as I was instructed to, I was rightly made to by my parents. Nobody gives a more epic hug than Uncle Ben. They could last for an hour if you let it. I must have been in high school before I began to really appreciate and enjoy the scope of these hugs. It was then that I stopped pulling away after just a second or two and learned how to stay in the hug as long as he wanted.

I went up to Vicksburg to see him and my Nanny last week, and Nick and I are going to go up there this afternoon most likely. Nanny is making some incredibly hard end-of-life decisions probably as I type this. I am proud that my 2 aunts, nurses themselves, (also a study in the beauty of loyalty) are helping her and her sister, my great Aunt Martha, navigate some impossible choices. I know the priority will be a dignified and peaceful end. Please pray for calm reassurance, for my Nanny, that she is doing the right thing. Please pray for my Uncle Ben, that he will somehow feel all the love surrounding him right now.


Uncle Ben and Gus, Thanksgiving 2008

Mommyin' it up poolside

Appropriation

Anyone know of any cool Mother's Day/Father's Day traditions that I can hijack? I strongly prefer to keep these holidays simple in our family, with the one obvious exception of the $100 gently used Dale Earnhardt, Jr. cardboard cutout, which I fully expect to see in my bedroom in the morning when I get home, and if I don't, will have to consider my first Mother's Day a massive failure.

I will generally take any excuse to celebrate anything at all, but I also bemoan the fact that the true spirit of pretty much every holiday becomes overshadowed by commerce and tangible things. I don't ever want Adam or Gus to feel that I will be disappointed if I'm not showered with jewelry, flowers, spa gift certificates, etc. I'd much rather adopt some simple but special practice that we can play out each year with our kids to celebrate our role in their lives.

Please share how you commemorate these occasions!

Mother's Day Wishlist

Hopefully this isn't gone by tomorrow. Adam assures me he is going to get it for me first thing in the morning.

Click here to see every new mother's most coveted item!

My favorite part of the ad is when he invites us to email him with any questions. What question could you possibly have about a cardboard cutout of Dale Earnhardt Jr? The only one that comes to mind is, "What exactly are you smoking that makes you think this is worth $100?"

Pride goeth before a fall

The pie wasn't that great. I got cocky and figured I could eyeball the lemon juice component without measuring. Fatal mistake. It was a very tart blueberry pie. Serves me right for being all, "Look at me, look at me!! Look at this gorgeous pie created by ME! ME ME ME ME ME!!"