Mardi Gras with a 3-month old

File this under "Brave and Risky Decisions That Totally Paid Off!"

We temporarily lost our minds and decided to bring Gus to New Orleans for Mardi Gras, while I simultaneously participated in one of my best friend's bachelorette party. Everything worked out so great, and it was such a blast!!

I owe a huge thanks to my mom and Adam for taking care of Gus pretty much the whole weekend, leaving me free to roam. We did bring the baby into the fold almost all day on Saturday and Sunday, but we always had an easy out if we needed it.

It was the perfect weekend for ushering one of my best friends into matrimony. Now the countdown to the wedding begins!! Mary Blaney becomes Mary McCarthy in less than 3 weeks!

Seriously?

Every year, nurses have to take a series of tests proving competency. These are a complete joke and a total waste of time. This is an actual question I was asked on one of the competency tests:

True or False?
The purpose of the Insulin Pump Policy is to define guidelines of care of the patient using an insulin pump.

Um. What does it say about me as a nurse that I can identify this question as being true? Absolutely nothing! All it says about me is that I can read on a basic level. This is the kind of crap that gives nursing a bad name. It's time to step it up a notch. Actually, several notches.

Of course I picked out the most insulting question as an example, but the rest really were not much better.

Further proof that we've had a baby

You know you've neglected things when you pull a weed that is bigger than your 90 pound pit bull mix. That is ONE WEED people! I must have walked by that weed a couple thousand times over the course of its life, only recently noting, subconsciously, how large it was getting. Finally this morning I noticed it quite consciously and thought "Dayum!! That's embarrassing!" So I went to weedin'. I thought for a second about just adopting this big one into my flower bed because you've got to admire its vitality and gumption, and I thought maybe those qualities could rub off on my other plants, but no. I remembered that weeds work in the exact opposite fashion. It had to be pulled.

Impressions

Is there a creature on this planet more pathetic and hopeless than the New Parent? The other morning Adam and I were in bed with Gus and we were all "Oh look!! Watch this! When I tap him on the shoulder, HE TURNS AROUND AND LOOKS AT ME!! WATCH!! Hee hee hee!! Do it again, let's do it again to see if he does it again. Ooooo hee hee hee!! Oh my gosh, did you see that?? He just blew a spit bubble. Awwwww!!!! Oh wow, he brought that burp rag up to his own mouth. WOW."

He's probably thinking, "These people are way too easy to impress. Jackpot!"

Conclusion

I cry a fair amount. I never realized this until I started this blog. It seems like I am always blogging about something that made me cry. Weird. I never thought I was big on crying.

Anyway. Today I was clipping Gus's fingernails. Normally I just tear them off with my teeth. But I thought I'd use the nail clippers today. I grabbed a little hunk of his little perfect finger and clipped right through it, sending him into hysterics. And....you guessed it! I cried!

Love....

What does Gus love? Is it...
A) Monkeys!!
B) Sitting around in mismatched clothing
C) Eating a fist
D) The Bumbo seat
E) Getting fat
F) All of the above

Valentine's Day

Adam and I have never been big on this holiday, but we are loving each other so much right now because of Gus, we just had to celebrate! Because the day fell on a work day for me, last Thursday was our Valentine's Day. We went to the gym (we actually really enjoy doing this together, believe it or not, so it's not as unromantic as it may seem), then we went out to our new favorite sushi place. We topped that off with some frozen custard. Then we picked up a few bottles of vino and sat on the couch til 2:30 in the morning with the dogs at our feet and a sleeping Gus in our arms, just talking about life and hopes and dreams and blessings, not what bills we had to pay or what to do with our tax refund. It was a perfect date.

So even though we already paid due respect to the holiday, I've been a little mopey today because this is the REAL holiday and I had to sleep all day. By the time I woke up, Adam and Gus were heading out the door to go do Man Stuff. Boo hoo. But it was nice to have a few quiet hours to myself before returning to work tonight.

Happy Valentine's Day to everyone!! Even if you don't have a sweetheart, I hope you are feeling all of the love in your life today!

Street!!

Jason Street finally returns to "Friday Night Lights"!!! I had totally forgotten that he had a baby. And I used to be really annoyed by his quad buddy, but now I think he is the funniest character on the show. And oh Matt Saracen, you break my heart every week! My love for you will never die! J.D. McCoy can kiss it. (Although I am really interested in how they are going to develop that character.)

If you are not watching "Friday Night Lights," you are missing out on one of the best shows ever to grace television. It is a beautiful thing. Peter Berg can do no wrong. Actually, that's not true. Remember the Landry/Tyra murder storyline? Ridiculous. But 90% of the time, the writers are incredible. It is a sincere, hopeful, devastating show, completely devoid of cynicism. Last week when Smash got accepted to Texas Tech? Oh man. Tears. Oh my gosh I LOVE FRIDAY NIGHT LIGHTS!!

If only all TV shows were like this...

Speaking of good TV - who else got chills at the Jin/Sawyer reunion on last week's Lost?

It never gets old!!

This album has totally stood the test of time.

One day, he will grow some hair.

Songsmith

Have any of you heard of this? It's a new program developed by Microsoft that will take your voice/lyrics and apply music to it in whatever style you like. So you could make up some stupid little diddy, record it, load it into Songsmith, choose "reggae" or "techno" or whatever, and Songsmith produces the music to back up your vocals.

To anyone who appreciates a beautifully, brilliantly crafted song, this program is all kinds of sad and terrifying and perverse. Microsoft is trying to say "Look! Anyone can be a musician! Anyone can write a song!", which is JUST. NOT. TRUE.

Luckily there are people out there who have the time to spoof everything under the sun. And they have turned this program on its head.

I give you: "Creep" by Radiohead. Someone isolated Thom Yorke's vocals and loaded it up into Songsmith, and this is the result. (If you don't already know this song, don't bother. This won't be of any interest to you. Although the obvious dichotomy between the original video and the fabricated music is worth watching.)


Youtube has a whole slew of these. Just search "classic hits by microsoft songsmith" on Youtube and waste some time cringing and laughing and wondering where we are headed as a civilization.

Growing Pains

It was Adam's idea to have Gus sleep in his crib last night, for the first time. In a totally separate room. A whole 10 feet away. Boo hoo. I was a mess. I just stood over his crib and cried, thinking, very dramatically, about where the time has gone. Adam hugged me and ushered me out of the room, promising me I would hear him when he cried. I went to sleep clutching a burp rag, staring at the empty cradle next to my bed.

How will I EVAH handle the heartbreak of his first day at school? Surely this was an excessive response, and I will not react so grandly to every little milestone.

3 months of baby bliss led up to 30 minutes of utter devastation.

Not a terrible ratio, I suppose. Any mamas out there care to tell me I'm not ridiculous?

The secrets of the universe are hidden in these folds.

P.S. It's hard to tell, but that's actually a hand.

I don't think you ready for this jelly

Then:

Now:

He obviously doesn't wear these clothes anymore, but I thought it would be funny to squeeze his chunky behind (aka "boohiney") into them to see how different he looks now than when he was 3 days old. I even added the same blanket for effect! Because I am cool like that! And I have way too much time on my hands! And I will stop shouting at you now!

Thought of the day

I am transitioning from thinking of Gus's life span in numbers of weeks and am now thinking of and referring to months instead. I find it annoying when people talk about their "37 month old" and will not participate in that brand of parenting. But do indulge me and allow me to note that yesterday marked 12 weeks.

Bitter: Gone is my baby who was content to be stared at, manhandled, kissed, and cuddled for 24 hours a day.
Sweet: In exchange, I have a baby who is wide-eyed, so close to giggling, finding his hands, and actually communicating with me in his very special baby way.

Actin' uh Foo

This is Southernspeak for "behaving like an idiot."

The progression goes something like this:
Behaving like an idiot > acting like an idiot > actin' like a fool > actin' like a foo > actin' a foo > actin' uh foo!

However you prefer to say it, most of my patients were doing it last night!