Have you ever.....

weaned a baby? If so, help!

So, the one year birthday is coming up, and my kid WON'T EAT! I am still nursing him 4-5 times a day, and I think my supply is dwindling because he stays totally restless during these nursing sessions. I have been trying to push the solids and it is just not taking. The only things he will eat consistently are yogurt, guacamole, and bananas. I try to give him everything that we are eating, and he just ends up playing with it and throwing it on the floor. If I try to spoon-feed him anything other than yogurt, he puckers his lips out and turns his head away.

Also, he resists the sippy cup. Won't drink juice. Will barely drink milk.

How am I supposed to wean him? I feel like he's not getting enough calories as it is. If I quit nursing altogether, will he just eventually get so hungry that he'll start experimenting and eating new things?

I really don't know what to do! Any advice is greatly appreciated. I need him weaned by November 21st.

Tang Pie

I can't really explain the role Tang Pie has had in the Wolfe family. It wasn't a featured item at every holiday or anything like that, but we had it enough that I felt like it was a pretty normal thing to eat. You know how you don't really question these things until it comes up in conversation one day in your twenties and your friend is like "Wha????? Tang Pie???"

Or, maybe you are 22 and at a company meeting in Ireland and one of the icebreaker conversations was to name the weirdest thing you've ever eaten. You lean over to your boss and whisper "Is squirrel a weird thing to eat?" and she looks back at you with horror, and then you are definitely the person in the room who has eaten the weirdest thing.

Anyway, the point is that sometimes it takes a 3rd party to point out the culinary oddities of your life. Now back to Tang Pie.

The recipe is just as easy and redneck as you might imagine: 1 can Sweetened Condensed milk, 1/2 c tang, 1/2 pint sour cream, 1 1/2 cups cool whip. Mix all together, spoon into prepared graham cracker crust, and chill or freeze.

Please please please, make this for your loved ones and report back.

R

.. is the most menacing sound. That's why they call it "murder" and not "muk-duk."

I love Dwight.

It's time again.....

....for the latest installment of the Lornitzo household Google search history.

pass performance
how to pick the right plantain
"one of these days alice"
bitch is back
insipid
I.com
stephen king beard
glycerin suppositories
does the eardrum stretch
roomba
mechanical pecan cracker

My favorite is "I.com." Why wouldn't we just have typed that into the URL space and gone straight to the site if we were so curious?

In case you were wondering, I.com is available for purchase. But the kind folks at Yahoo suggested that maybe I was really looking for "Withnail and I" or "I Ching." That makes a lot of sense if you think about it.

The Remains of the Day

The girl who was coming over on Mondays to watch Gus while I slept a few hours moved away. Far, far away. So the past few Mondays have been, shall we say, freckin' brutal. Usually I am extraordinarily chipper the first hour after I get home, like my brain is over-correcting for the fatigue in my bones, and for a brief moment, the trickery works and I think, "This ain't so bad. What." I make great plans to go to libraries, gyms, grocery stores. I anticipate afternoon crafting sessions, baking, cleaning. I'll get out a few packages in the mail, I'll think. Or, I'll power wash the side of the house later, for certain! Oh and I've been meaning for months to go out and clean/rearrange the shed. Isn't today a lovely day for such a massive project!?

Then 8:30 happens, and I am incapacitated. I hit the mother-lovin' wall. Sometimes literally - I run into walls. And I never accomplish anything, no matter how remotely trivial, for the remainder of the day.

Luckily, this is usually is the neighborhood of naptime for Gus, so it's not a big fight to get him to sleep. But oh how fleeting is that time. We wake up in what feels like 90 seconds. Or, in today's case, Gus wakes up and I put him in the floor in my sleep and continue on sleeping. Then LATER I wake up to him crying and have a flash of panic as I realize I didn't close the door to the nursery, so my curious 11-month old is wandering around a house that is not 100% baby-proofed while his mother sleeps on the futon.

Mother of the Year Award 2009? Why, I'm honored! I'd like to thank the little people. That means you Gus. Thanks for not crashing through any windows or eating any chemicals while I was dreaming about Jimmy Smits.

Songs you don't mind having stuck in your head

"After the Gold Rush" Neil Young

Speaking of Neil Young, on our anniversary about a week ago, Adam and I got in the car to go out and what song popped up immediately on our random shuffle but "Harvest Moon," the song we danced to at our wedding. We couldn't believe it. Such a sweet moment. Then and now.

I got robbed, by oats

This morning for breakfast, I totally rocked it. Had a bowl of oatmeal (not instant, people, the real deal) with just a pinch of brown sugar, to which I added raisins and walnuts. With a cup of milk on the side to wash down my multivitamin.

It was so healthy, I died. Then I came back to life, sat down, and tallied up how many Weight Watchers points I just consumed. Imagine my shock when I found that this breakfast amounted to HALF of what I should eat in a day. What??? Bogus.