CNN.COM Headline of the Day

"Bowler Rolls Perfect Game, Then Dies"

If I could turn back time

Remember way back when? When we had never heard of Joe the Plumber? Those were good times, kinder times, gentler times. I miss those days.

A Class Act

3 a.m. The couch. Me. A bowl of Kraft Mac 'n Cheese. Sheryl Crow on Larry King Live. Followed by a few minutes of The O'Reilly Factor (I'm still spinning after a short stay in his "No Spin Zone"). Followed by 2 episodes of Roseanne on Nick at Nite.

Not my finest hour.

What Not to Say to a Pregnant Woman, Part Seven

"Wow, I think you're rounder than you are tall!!"

Said to me by my wonderfully sensitive husband, of all people. The best part was his defense: "But you ARE really short." I simply stated that my circumference is nowhere near 5 feet and 2 inches, thank you very much.

I just waddled away and feigned offense and disgust, knowing I would just use this later as a bargaining chip for a foot massage.

Emotional Hibernation

I am not avoiding the blog for lack of bloggable topics. Actually it's the opposite. There is entirely too much thinking going on in my noggin', and sorting through the mess is a real challenge. I may need to just turn things off until we have the baby. Or I may go on some crazy blogging rampage. Who knows.

I feel like my entire world is just inside my head right now, and that is where I am living almost exclusively. Hopefully this explains my lack of attention to returning phone calls and emails. Is this what happens to women involved in a staring contest showdown with Imminent Motherhood?

My dear friend Liz flew in from Durango for the week and temporarily rescued me from this state of dormancy. It was super fabulous to have her here. I greatly appreciated the distraction, even though we did lots of baby-related things. It makes an enormous difference to do those things with a girlfriend.

Would you believe we didn't take one picture the entire week? We talked a lot about how we should be taking pictures, and then we never did. Oh well. You'll have to take my word for it. She really was here.

Anniversary in New Orleans

Laundry has never been so fun

I'm guessing I will never again be this excited about washing clothes.

Shinola

" . . . where it is the taxpayers looking to bail out. But ultimately, what the bailout does is help those who are concerned about the healthcare reform that is needed to help shore up our economy. Um, helping, oh -- it's got to be all about job creation too. Shoring up our economy, and putting it back on the right track. So healthcare reform and reducing taxes and reining in spending has got to accompany tax reductions, and tax relief for Americans, and trade, we've got to see trade as opportunity, not as a competitive, um, scary thing, but 1 in 5 jobs being created in the trade sector today. We've got to look at that as more opportunity. All of those things under the umbrella of job creation. This bailout is a part of that." - Sarah Palin, answering Katie Couric

Alrighty then. It really shouldn't take much to outsmart Katie Couric in an interview. She isn't exactly known for her hard-hitting journalism. What a fumbling mess!

"What you've just said is one of the most insanely idiotic things I have ever heard. At no point in your rambling, incoherent response were you even close to anything that could be considered a rational thought. Everyone in this room is now dumber for having listened to it. I award you no points, and may God have mercy on your soul."
-Principal from Billy Madison

Vomit

If I hear/read one more time any of the following...

"maverick"
"one heartbeat away from the presidency"
"Main Street vs. Wall Street"
"didn't win Miss Congeniality"
"pork barrel"
"flip flop"
"gotcha journalism"

I'm gonna spew.