Shadows

All week long, no matter where I go in the house, I hear the doggies' nails clicking on the floor behind me. If I go to the kitchen for just a minute for some water, there they are. Then when I go back to the computer, they plop down beside me. If I'm in the bed, they are in their beds. It's very flattering, but also unusual. They are not always this attentive. I'm loving it while it lasts.

Defying Gender Stereotypes

My cousin Shannon sent me the following in an email. I laughed the whole way through because, in our household, it is usually Adam trying to get me to be better about filling ice trays, replacing empty toilet paper rolls, throwing clothes on the floor, always losing things (especially my phone charger), etc. Not to emasculate my husband on a public forum, but I am extremely lucky to have him and his attention to domestic issues. Of course, he would always choose being in the yard tinkering around with tools over washing dishes, but he never complains about either. I honestly cannot remember ever feeling an urge to nag him about any household matters. But I can definitely relate to a few of these!

Summer Classes for Men at
THE ADULT LEARNING CENTER

REGISTRATION MUST BE COMPLETED
by Friday, August 15th 2008
NOTE: DUE TO THE COMPLEXITY AND DIFFICULTY LEVEL OF THEIR CONTENTS, CLASS SIZES WILL BE LIMITED TO 8 PARTICIPANTS MAXIMUM

Class 1
How To Fill Up The Ice Cube Trays--Step by Step, with Slide Presentation.
Meets 4 weeks, Monday and Wednesday for 2 hours beginning at 7:00 PM.

Class 2
The Toilet Paper Roll--Does It Change Itself?
Round Table Discussion.
Meets 2 weeks, Saturday 12:00 for 2 hours.

Class 3
Is It Possible To Urinate Using The Technique Of Lifting The Seat and Avoiding The Floor, Walls and Nearby Bathtub?--Group Practice.
Meets 4 weeks, Saturday 10:00 PM for 2 hours.

Class 4
Fundamental Differences Between The Laundry Hamper and The Floor--Pictures and Explanatory Graphics. Meets Saturdays at 2:00 PM for 3 weeks.

Class 5
Dinner Dishes--Can They Levitate and Fly Into The Kitchen Sink?
Examples on Video. Meets 4 weeks, Tuesday and Thursday for 2 hours beginning at 7:00

Class 6
Loss Of Identity--Losing The Remote To Your Significant Other.
Help Line Support and Support Groups. Meets 4 Weeks, Friday and Sunday 7:00 PM

Class 7
Learning How To Find Things--Starting With Looking In The Right Places And Not Turning The House Upside Down While Screaming.
Open Forum Monday at 8:00 PM, 2 hours.

Class 8
Health Watch--Bringing Her Flowers Is Not Harmful To Your Health. Graphics and Audio Tapes. Three nights; Monday, Wednesday, Friday at 7:00 PM for 2 hours.

Class 9
Real Men Ask For Directions When Lost--Real Life Testimonials.
Tuesdays at 6:00 PM Location to be determined

Class 10
Is It Genetically Impossible To Sit Quietly While She Parallel Parks? Driving Simulations. 4 weeks, Saturday's noon, 2 hours.

Class 11
Learning to Live--Basic Differences Between Mother and Wife. Online Classes and role-playing. Tuesdays at 7:00 PM, location to be determined

Class 12
How to be the Ideal Shopping Companion
Relaxation Exercises, Meditation and Breathing Techniques.
Meets 4 weeks, Tuesday and Thursday for 2 hours beginning at 7:00 PM.

Class 13
How to Fight Cerebral Atrophy--Remembering Birthdays, Anniversaries and Other Important Dates and Calling When You're Going To Be Late.
Cerebral Shock Therapy Sessions and Full Lobotomies Offered.
Three nights; Monday, Wednesday, Friday at 7:00 PM for 2 hours.

Class 14
The Stove/Oven--What It Is and How It Is Used. Live Demonstration.
Tuesdays at 6:00 PM, location to be determined.
Upon completion of any of the above courses, diplomas will be issued to the survivors.

What Would Scooby Do

My Jeep has a bumper sticker with this slogan on it, and I love it. My friend from college, Vince Tricomi - who used to smoke Marlboro Reds in his dorm room (illegally) and listen to The Doors almost exclusively and bring a freshly plucked flower from Notre Dame's campus (illegal, also) to Beth every day when we worked at Lula's - bought me that bumper sticker as we were making our way down to the Telluride Bluegrass Festival. Good memories.

Anyway, what would you do if you were in Petsmart with your dog and your dog decided to hike up his leg and take a quick piss in the dog food aisle? If you were me, you'd look around, see if anyone saw, and scram.

Granted, my reaction didn't ooze integrity, but don't judge. I'm pregnant.

Adorable!

That this little guy doesn't have a place of honor on cuteoverload.com is a betrayal of justice! Don't you just want to squeeze him and cuddle him and nuzzle that gorgeous nose and gaze sweetly into those milky eyes forever??

To clarify, this beautiful beast is a PIGLET, born to a Chinese sow.

Say wha??

Adam and I were driving along the interstate yesterday and we passed a canine police training course that I never noticed before. My delirious sleep-deprived mind found this noteworthy enough to exclaim with total, genuine excitement, "Hey, look, a doggy course!!" To which Adam looked at me with utmost concern and horror. He thought I said, "Hey, look, a doggy corpse!!"

The surprise element

99 times out of 100, when I tell someone we did not find out the sex of the baby, the reaction is total and utter shock.

"What do you MEAN you don't know what you're having??" Um, I am expecting to deliver a human infant. That is quite enough information for me to process at this time.

"I could NEVER do that, no way! I would need to know as soon as possible!"

And, my favorite, "But what are you going to buy for the baby? How are you going to know what to BUY??!! And what are you going to do about the nursery? How can you possibly decorate it without knowing the sex of the baby?"

This line of thinking actually really annoys me. I totally understand the plain ol' curiosity factor, and of course we are curious too. (Just not so curious that we can't wait a few more months.) But to know that, really, some people just can't bear the thought of someone not bringing a little girl home in a pink outfit to a pink bedroom in a little pink carseat with a pink diaperbag is just disturbing.

I am certain this kid will survive being brought home in white or yellow or green to a neutrally decorated nursery without a major identity crisis.

Am I being too hard on folks? Or is this fixation on having all appropriately colored stuff for a baby really out of control?

P.S. This blog is not directed at any of my precious readers who may have expressed disappointment at our not finding out the sex of the baby. It is really mostly strangers who react this way. People I know and love are as excited about the surprise element as we are!

Amazing Bird Video

This is other-worldly. Imagine witnessing something like this. I doubt you would ever forget it.

Tuesday goodness

Philippians 4:8,9 "Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable — if anything is excellent or praiseworthy — think about such things....And the God of peace will be with you."

Strange new ways

People, I actually ironed a tablecloth today. I was completely unrecognizable to myself as I was doing it, but it was so satisfying. Does this qualify as nesting or insanity?

Stop. Collaborate and Listen.

If you ever get the notion to buy a dresser that's not quite the right color, thinking you'll just strip it and stain it yourself to match your bedroom furniture rather than buying the dresser that already matches but is $60 more, PLEASE call me. I'll try to talk you out of it, but if I can't do that, I'll at least give you a comprehensive list of things NOT to do. The first thing on that list would be this: don't stain the dresser outside and then leave it outside, uncovered, overnight. For it will surely rain, and you will be ruined.

I am now on Day #4 of this little project. And no end in sight.

So, what else can I do but take my nieces and nephew to the water park today. I need to get out of our new house, as much as I love it. Must escape the chaos for a few hours!!