The Coast is Not Clear

Tenth Day

2010-06-30T20:26:00.000-05:00

I have no idea what I ever did to deserve such easy babies who love to sleep! We are well into week #2 with Mack and it has been smooth sailing (mostly)! Please please please dear God don't make me eat those words.

Gus has been a total champ. It doesn't seem to register for him in the slightest that our family just underwent a major expansion. He is the same little guy he always was. He does crawl into my lap more often, especially when I'm nursing Mack. But it honestly seems to be more out of affection than jealousy, as he is never pushy about it and is always smiling. He even likes to give Mack little love pats all over, which sometimes end up being heavy love pushes against major abdominal organs. We're working on that.

The biggest challenge is preparing to leave the house. We had to go back to the hospital today for Mack's hearing test, and it took me a good hour to get all of us ready. And that wasn't even me trying to look nice or put on makeup or anything. God forbid someone really needs me in a pinch this next month or so.

Our biggest hiccup so far was that Gus came down with a fever for a few days, and keeping the babies separated was a bit of a challenge. Is there anything more pitiful than a sick toddler? Nothing comes to mind. He was downright heartbreaking. But oh man was I LOVING the snuggles.

All better now though!

Why

2010-06-30T09:03:00.000-05:00

The hearing screen machine was down last week when we were in the hospital for Mack's birth, so I had to call this morning to schedule a time to bring Mack in.

The lady asked what my baby's name was. "Arthur," I said. "Can you spell that please?" she asked.
Me: "Um, A-R-T-H-U-R"
Her: "And is that a little boy or a little girl?"

Really?

Mack's Arrival

2010-06-28T01:02:00.002-05:00

Here it is... for the three of you out there wanting to read the birth story of Arthur Mack Lornitzo!

My final scheduled shift before going on maternity leave was last Saturday night. As I left work Sunday morning, I joked about how I was going to go home, get a good nap in, and then go right into labor so I wouldn't waste even a day of my maternity leave just waiting around for the baby. Little did I know, that's exactly what would happen! Friday and Saturday night were great shifts - a little slow, but I wasn't complaining. I was having tons of contractions and a bit of nausea all weekend, so things were definitely pointing to me having the baby soon.

My last appointment with my doctor had been just a few days prior, where she had measured me at 3 cm. She also kept saying that she wasn't going to "let" me go overdue this time. I just bit my tongue and told her we would cross that bridge if we came to it but that I had no problem going past my due date as long as the baby was tolerating it. Same old song and dance as last pregnancy. I was aggravated but just let it go for the time being.

I got home Sunday morning from work, feeling that feeling when you're a kid and school just let out for the summer. It was incredibly nice to pull up to the house, knowing I didn't have to go back to work until September. I skipped breakfast and went straight to bed, sleeping pretty well right up until 2:00. As soon as my feet hit the floor, my water broke. It took me about 10 minutes to convince myself that that's really what was happening. I wasn't having contractions yet, so there was a bit of uncertainty about what to do. I called my doula and decided to wait and see what the next few hours would bring. The baby was moving a ton and my water was totally clear, so I felt safe staying at home.

About 4:00, I started feeling somewhat regular contractions, enough to call my sister-in-law and have her make plans to come get Gus for the night. I began to get pretty emotional at this point about Gus and how he was about to become a brother. Adam and I sort of casually began to pack Gus's overnight bag and started wandering around the house taking care of various things - laundry, dishes, charging camera batteries, adjusting straps on the infant car seat, etc.

Cristi showed up with her 2 boys, which put a gigantic smile on Gus's face, as always. This helped me tremendously. She and I sat at the kitchen table for a bit, chatting while the boys played. When it came time for them to go, we walked them out to the van and I managed not to cry as they pulled away, knowing when I saw Gus again, I would be mother of 2!

Now, Adam and I stepped up our game a bit. We packed our own bags as contractions started heating up, now coming every 2-3 minutes but still not painful enough to go to the hospital. The house was now spotless and we considered going out to eat as a distraction, but I decided against it since I was getting pretty crampy at this point. We ordered sushi instead and had one last cozy meal at home. I put on Garcia and Grisman (PERFECT labor music!!), lit some candles, and had about 2 bites of sushi before I started really needing to move around.

Around 9:00, my mom arrived, followed within minutes by the doula. At this point, I was pacing or sitting on the birthing ball during each contraction. It was getting tough, but I was still managing. Not long after this, I made the decision to go on to the hospital. I felt sure that I had made enough progress at home that I wasn't going to put myself in a position where I'd be laboring for hours in the sterile hospital environment with all its restrictions. And I was honestly nervous about going into transition on the way. All you hear is that your 2nd labor goes a lot quicker than your 1st. It was already 8 hours since my water broke and about 3 hours of contractions every 2-3 minutes. So I was nervous.

Maranda, my doula, helped me through a few more contractions while Adam and mom put bags in the car. Off we went!! We live so close to the hospital that I only had 2 or 3 contractions on the ride. Once there, I had to use the bathroom in the main lobby immediately. There were 2 high school girls in the bathroom I used, which led to a pretty hilarious interaction between the 3 of us. I had a major contraction while I was in the stall. When I came out, they were just staring at me, mouths agape, asking me if I was going to get drugs. Ha ha!

We got up to the delivery ward and I decided I didn't want to officially check in just yet. So instead we went to the waiting room, where we were greeted by an incredibly stinky homeless man who had made himself quite comfortable in there. He just sat there and watched us and the tv. Adam went to tell the nurses we were here, just so they could be somewhat prepared. He came back with a nurse, who looked at me disapprovingly and said "Ma'am, you really need to get admitted so we can check that baby out if your water really broke at 2:00."

They ushered me and Adam back. I got in the gown, put on the fetal monitor, and laid down on my back while they prepared to put in an IV. The nurse asked me what my plans were for pain relief. I told her I was hoping to do this drug-free and she all but rolled her eyes at me. She told me the anesthesiologist was not in-house and would have to be called in, so if I was going to change my mind, I had better change it soon. Then, worst moment of my life - she did a cervical check and told me I was "just about 1 cm dilated." I nearly hit the roof. WHAT?? How could that be?? I told her I had been 3 cm just days ago. I completely lost it. I had been in such good control of my contractions but this news just totally derailed me. And poor Adam, he had no idea what to do, what to say. I was spiraling out of control, just thinking about being in labor for God knows how many more hours. I didn't think I could do it. Honestly. I told the nurse I would be letting her know about the epidural. She rechecked me not long after and said I was "3 and change." I didn't find this new assessment very helpful, as I had been fully expecting to be about 6-7 cm dilated by now.

The nurse finally allowed mom and Maranda in the room. We filled them in, and Maranda miraculously got me back on track. I don't remember what she said or what she did, but she talked me through a few contractions and got me to believe again that I could do it. I was refocused and back in control of the pain.We talked the nurse into letting me get out of the bed (how ridiculous that I need permission for this), and she was actually quite accommodating. So I sat on the ball and tried a bunch of different positions to help bring the baby down. It was about 11:00 PM now. 1 hour left of Father's Day.

Not too long after midnight, I was 7 cm. The on-call doctor came in to introduce himself and to tell me it was basically now or never on the epidural. I settled on "never" and forged ahead. He and I had a little more talking to do regarding some of my wishes, such as holding the baby immediately, not getting put on a pitocin drip after delivering the baby, and, most importantly, I told him do NOT cut me down there unless there is a damned good reason. He balked on all 3 of them, but he seemed at least to understand how passionately against an episiotomy I was. When he left, I could tell he wasn't super happy with me. The feeling was pretty mutual.

Labor was incredibly hard work now. But I still felt mostly in control. We had the lights down low, we were talking softly, everyone was wiping down my arms and legs with cold rags, feeding me ice chips. I imagined the baby moving down. I thought, as I did with Gus, about all the other women and creatures laboring at that moment, without epidurals. This REALLY helped me, more than anything else. It was a relatively calm and serene environment. The nurse really left us alone for the vast majority of the time I was there, once she realized I wasn't going to be some raging lunatic without drugs.

At about 1:30, I started feeling slight pressure, a desire to push but without the overwhelming need to. I was not quite fully dilated yet, so the nurse had me push a bit through a contraction to see if that would do the trick. Nope. More labor. On the one hand, I could not believe how long this was all taking. On the other hand, time was flying. Weird.

Finally, around 2, we started getting serious about pushing. Keep in mind, I only pushed 3 times with Gus and he was born, a very rapid delivery that resulted in a painful recovery. I was not quite sure how I could deal with a long session of pushing, but I kept telling myself that a slower delivery would be easier on me in the end, even if it prolonged the pain in the moment. It took me several contractions to practice pushing before I really got it right. There is so much to coordinate between your mind and your body. In between contractions, I was having to close my eyes and really muster up strength and sheer will for the next one. I have never wanted something to be over and done with so badly in all of my life.

The doctor came in and ended up totally impressing me in the end. He worked with me and coached me and was quite gentle and friendly. I had the nurse set up a mirror so I could see the delivery, which was just the coolest thing ever. After almost an hour of pushing, a little baby boy was born! We were pretty stunned to see a boy! But oh so happy!!

No cuts, no tears, I was completely intact. They gave me my baby boy right away, still attached to the cord, which Adam got to cut. I was much more clear-headed this time immediately after the delivery, aware of everything that was going on. I was not so mentally zoned out as I was with Gus.

In retrospect, I have to hand it to my nurse and doctor. We all got off on the wrong foot, and I think we mutually misjudged one another. But in the end, we all worked together and had a very successful outcome. The doctor said it was a perfect delivery, then he chuckled and said it was anything BUT a modern birth. I considered that high praise. We all parted ways with the warm fuzzies. Much different feeling than with the doctor who delivered Gus, who I pretty much wanted to kick in the face.

Mack was a champion eater right out of the womb. He had a little problem with low blood sugar that landed him in the NICU for a couple of hours, but it resolved quickly. He was a quiet, good-natured baby right away, such a little beast at 8 lbs 12 oz.

All in all, I'd say it was a harder labor than with Gus. Maybe my memory is just bad and the most recent experience of pain just seems worse. But I really think this was harder. CERTAINLY not easier, as many women like to tell you it will be. I guess I was just thinking I could handle harder as long as it was a lot quicker. But it was not quick. That being said, this is an experience like no other and part of the beauty is all of the uncertainty and the mystery and the not knowing.

Again, I am struck with overwhelming love for Adam, who is just the sweetest, kindest, best person you could have at your side. What a man! And the gift of my dear mother being present for the birth, what a blessing, after all the sadness in our family recently. And, of course, my doula. Every laboring woman should be so lucky as to have an incredible doula like Maranda.

So that's the story and I'm sticking to it!

Elusive Sleep

2010-06-10T07:50:00.000-05:00

Between constant pressure on my bladder, the frequent need to reposition myself because of hip pain or leg cramps or general discomfort, being hot, being thirsty, just generally being restless, I am not sleeping well these days, no matter how tired I am. I don't mean to complain. I realize I signed up for this. I am just stating some unpleasant facts, if you'll allow.

Last night was the worst. I was totally engrossed in a book until about midnight, feeling that guilt with every passing minute that, gosh, I should really put this book down and get some sleep already. When I finally did, I was up 30 minutes later headed to the bathroom. From the hallway, I glanced into the kitchen and saw something out of the corner of my eye, a scurrying movement. It moved from one corner of the kitchen and did a full lap in the blink of an eye, before I could really process what I was seeing. I am 90% sure it was a mouse. I thought, EEEEEK!!! But I only said, "Adam, a mouse, I think I saw a mouse," as I stood totally helpless in the hallway, realizing there was nothing we could do at this point because the mouse was long gone to its super secret hiding place that he probably reached by distorting the diameter of his little body down to the size of my fingertip. Gross!! Then I went and stood in the doorway of our bedroom and watched my husband not even remotely budge from his super peaceful slumber. Jerk!

I crawled back in bed with my unfinished bladder business, a complete and useless wimp. Then I heard big huge thumps and thuds on the porch but didn't think much of it. Dogs being dogs. I fell back asleep. Woke up about an hour later, looked out the window and saw Jesse, by the light of the moon, dragging some monstrous and recently dead possum across the yard. EW!!!!! He got it right up next to our window and then saw me watching. So he dropped the possum and shied away to bed, leaving the carcass right in full view from our bed. Thanks buddy!

It was all downhill from there. Coffee is brewing and plans are made for going to get some mouse traps this morning. Happy Thursday to you!

Tough Week

2010-06-06T16:22:00.000-05:00

For those curious about the details surrounding my grandma's passing...

Several weeks ago, she suffered a small stroke, which did not result in any major deficits. But it was pretty clear after this event that she was weakened and perhaps at the start of a decline. At age 87, none of this was too shocking. Last Saturday, she fell and broke her hip. We all knew a surgical repair was incredibly risky with her age and her recent stroke, but there was really no choice but to operate. So she was cleared medically for surgery and went in at 9:00 Sunday morning. She came through the surgery ok but clearing the anesthesia was taking a lot longer than the nurses were expecting. She was eventually transferred from post-op back to her room, where they were keeping a close eye on her vitals. There was lots of family in the room to greet her as she came to her room from post-op. 3 of her children, several grandchildren, and a handful of great grandchildren. Her blood pressure was on the low side of normal, but nothing scary. The family all dispersed after a little while to let grandma rest. My mom went to her apartment to start boxing up some things, as we knew that she would have to go to the nursing home after discharge for several weeks of rehab and therapy. Very shortly after my mom got to her apartment, she received a call from grandma's nurse telling her she needed to come back to the hospital. When she got there, she of course found out that my grandma had just slipped away. All of it was just too much for her body to handle.

For those of you following me on Facebook, you know it was quite a struggle for me to decide whether to travel up for the funeral or stay my pregnant hiney in Mississippi and find another way to say goodbye. After much deliberation, I chose to go. I was guaranteed to have Joey as a travel buddy, to help with Gus and to be with me in case of early labor. At the last minute, Adam wrapped up enough things at work to be able to go as well. So now I had 2 companions, which made me feel even better about going.

We left early early Wednesday morning and flew into Moline, a quick 45 minute drive away from all the funeral activity. We checked into our hotel and greeted all the cousins and aunts and uncles who were already there. I have an amazing extended family, on both my mom and dad's side. It was such a joy to see them all and a comfort to be with people who were grieving with me. Just a few hours later, we were dressed and on our way to the visitation/wake/viewing of the body. This was hard. Period. The only thing that made this better was the back room full of 9 of her great grandchildren, running around and playing without a care in the world.

After this, we all went back to the hotel and ordered pizza and there was swimming. Adam, Gus, and I tucked in early since we had been awake since 4:30 in the morning. I woke up briefly at midnight and sent my dad on a Tums mission, ha!

Thursday morning, Gus was up at 5:15. Ugh! He gets so excited in hotel rooms. I think he knows that is a rare tv-watching opportunity. And that's exactly what we did - turned on some cartoons to buy a few more minutes of sleep.

The funeral was at the same chapel where my parents were married, where my grandparents had their 50th wedding anniversary party, and where my grandpa was buried 14 years ago. Lots of Engel history at that place. Nick officiated the burial service and did such an amazing job. I was so proud of him. Joey sang, and of course did a beautiful job as well. Adam was honored to be a pallbearer. Grandma really loved Adam, and he will always remember her as the first of my family to be completely welcoming, warm, and accepting of him. This was so typical of her. She was just that way.

After the funeral, we were treated to lunch at the Moose Lodge in Ladd, Illinois by the lovely ladies of the Van Orin Gospel Church, where grandma was a faithful member for more years than I've been alive. It was a typical post-funeral feast of macaroni salad, spaghetti, sandwiches, etc. Incredibly heartwarming comfort food.

During this lunch, my grandma's best friend came up to me and asked me if I remembered her driving with my grandma to come get me at Notre Dame for a break one Thanksgiving. Of course I remembered. Betty! Betty is 91 years old and still getting around without missing a beat. She had just been with my grandma the Monday before her death. Several old ladies of the church would get together and make "lap robes" (blankets) for charity once a week. Anyway, Betty brought me out to her car, saying she had something for me. She handed me a plastic grocery bag and inside was a blanket Grandma had just finished for the new baby. What a treasure this blanket will always be! It will probably be a while before I can look at that blanket without a few tears sneaking out.

After the lunch, we went over to my Uncle Tim's for a bit to sort through some of her things. And then, the trip home. It was a whirlwind 2 days. It was just beginning to seem real that my Nanny had died in March, and now we have to process this as well. It feels like a lot all of a sudden, to be without a grandmother in this life. Both such special, unique, independent, and strong women. I was so blessed. And I remain blessed with all the family that wouldn't exist without either of those women.

I am so incredibly grateful for all the kind words that have come my way. When people say they are praying for you, it means something, and I could feel it. What a thing - to be cared for and loved and prayed for through a big family loss. Many many thanks!

Yet another reason working weekends is FOR THE BIRDS

2010-05-27T07:37:00.000-05:00

Guess who is coming to the Hard Rock in Biloxi Saturday night??
MiniKiss!

For those of you not in-the-know (which included me, yesterday, before Adam alerted me to their existence), MiniKiss is a Kiss cover band composed of only midgets.

I am having a hard time coming up with a better idea than this. Brilliance.

She WHAT in all her WHATS??

2010-05-25T13:05:00.001-05:00

It's a cliche for a reason. Many doctors have really really bad penmanship. I try to read all the recent progress notes regarding my patients, but certain doctors' notes I just skip right over, without the hope of ever interpreting them. If it's an actual order, of course I have no choice but to spend the time to figure out what he or she is telling me to do, usually with the help of other nurses and the secretary.

Recently, I was reading through notes on one of my patients by a doctor who I don't normally have too much trouble figuring out. But one sentence gave me pause. I thought, surely he didn't mean to say this... but what else could this be? This patient was in for stomach complaints. I settled on: "She farts in all her pants." And I lost it completely.

Very unprofessionally, I called my coworkers over to read this jewel of a note as I laughed hysterically and even had to leave the area for a moment to recollect myself. This doc doesn't have a reputation for always using the most technical medical jargon, but this was just absurd.

Oh how I laughed and laughed and was even a little proud of myself for finding such entertainment for all of us at the beginning of our long shift ahead. Of course, when I showed it to people, I read it to them aloud as I pointed to the writing. Once you plant the "she farts in all her pants" seed in someone's head, it's hard for them to see anything else. Later, I asked one of my coworkers, who had missed this scene completely, to read me that note and tell me what she thought it said.

"She hurts in all her parts."

Oh. Yeah. That makes a lot more sense.

Sweet sweet Gus

2010-03-30T18:06:00.003-05:00

I went to this great little coffee shop in Long Beach this morning in an old bank and met up with a friend back from my Woodlawn days. We were sitting there chatting and Gus, as usual, was all over the place. This adorable old couple sat down at a table near us. The woman pulled out her library book, and the man set up his Kindle and they were reading happily. They kept looking at Gus and smiling. Of course he was cheesing right back. But then he went right up to the old man and put his head on his leg and gave him the sweetest little love-pat you ever saw.

I love Gus.

Still Here

2010-03-16T15:26:00.002-05:00

Hard to think about where to start in updating this blog. I think it needs a fresh look; maybe that will inspire me to pick up my blogging frequency.

Like the rest of the hemisphere, we are tickled to death that spring is here. Gus is obsessed with being outside, so I think I see what our lives are going to look like for the next several months. And I like it!

I'm going to sit down and some point and write about my Nanny passing. Many thanks to all of you for the thoughts and prayers. They were deeply felt and incredibly helpful. It was a great reminder of how loving and thoughtful people are.

YES!

2010-02-24T22:49:00.003-06:00

Ultrasound results

2010-02-19T16:11:00.003-06:00

So we just got back from the doctor's office and it's a..................

ANOTHER BOY!!!!!!

(Or a girl)

We don't know. We didn't find out.

Mwah ha ha ha!

Dang

2010-02-11T17:06:00.004-06:00

A whole month has passed without a blog post? I have been a busy bee!!

The first order of business: Baby L #2. I am 20 weeks along and have an ultrasound scheduled a week from tomorrow. We are actually considering finding out the sex this time, believe it or not!! This inclination is mainly due to a slip of the tongue at the first ultrasound, wherein the tech said something that makes us strongly suspect we are having a boy. Now, we kinda feel like we may as well just confirm what we're 99% sure of anyway.

BUT, wouldn't it be fun to go in, so confident it's a boy, and then out pops a little baby girl!?

I am really on the fence. It was such great fun not knowing with Gus. But we feel like we already know with this one, so why not just take that final step?

I do think it's nice though for babies to be allowed to declare themselves at birth. There are so few mysteries anymore, and keeping this detectable fact about your unborn seems sometimes, to me, like the right thing to do.

Thoughts?

Hell's Soundtrack

2010-01-11T08:24:00.003-06:00

NEVER in my life have I had less of a desire to purchase something than this mp3 on iTunes:

Ke$ha, feat. 3OH!3 "Blah Blah Blah"

And this is not one of those "Oh I'm getting so old... Kids these days!" kind of repulsions. This is just a downright travesty for all ages, for all times, that this is the top song on iTunes right now, that it could be the top song for anyone or anything.

I need to go lie down.

Just another manic Monday

2010-01-11T08:09:00.003-06:00

It's so weird what I go through on Monday mornings. The elation of completing a week's work at the hospital, coupled with extreme exhaustion, then add to that the depressing sight of Adam toting Gus off to daycare, after I haven't spent any quality time with either of them for 3 days. But then, it's nice to have the house to myself for a day, and I refuse to feel guilty for that, even though I know what a luxury it is.

It's pretty cool to be done with work until Friday, when most of the rest of the working world is just getting started on their work week. Makes me feel like I'm getting away with something. On the flip side, going to work on Friday night just flat-out SUCKS.

I am especially looking forward to tonight with my boys. It has been a few weeks since Adam and I have really spent any quality time together. Between me working an extra job and Adam working insanely long hours at his job lately, it's just been hard to connect.

Tonight I plan to make my man a quality dinner and cuddle up on the couch and watch episodes of Dexter while we watch Gus toddle around in his ridiculously cute learning-how-to-walk manner. And there just might be a pint of Ben and Jerry's in there somewhere.

Christmas snapshots

2010-01-01T14:15:00.000-06:00

A sign that you live in the South

2010-01-01T12:58:00.002-06:00

You go to several grocery stores on New Year's Eve and are not surprised in the least (but still disappointed) to find that they are all out of the very thing you are looking for - ham hocks.

Post-Christmas Stroll

2009-12-27T08:01:00.002-06:00

We took the kids on a nice long walk downtown yesterday to see the new palm trees the city planted. It turned into such a fun adventure. Here's a sweet pic of mom and dad and all of their much-loved grandchildren.

How much is Bram breaking your heart in this photo?

Gus meets Santa. And loves him!

2009-12-24T08:35:00.002-06:00

He looks a little skeptical, but I know he loved him. Santa even gave him a kiss on the top of the head!

Fun with wagons

2009-12-19T17:04:00.001-06:00

Best cover of the year

2009-12-17T09:53:00.002-06:00

Taken by Trees covering Animal Collective

Hillbilly Entrepreneur

2009-12-16T09:55:00.003-06:00

Wish you could see the sign to the right of his truck a little better. "Hot Fresh Boield P-Nuts" with the N orientated backwards. But all the other Ns were written correctly, so I don't know if he was trying to be cute or what. I so wish I had some cash on me at the time. Next time I pass his way, I'll be sure to have some on hand so I can stop and buy some, and maybe get some better pictures.

Sublime

2009-12-15T20:00:00.004-06:00

Just heard "Santeria" on the radio and suddenly I really was 18 again, wearing Meg Cooney's borrowed clothes, at a dorm party, dancing on a sticky floor with black lights and trashcans nearby full of ice and Keystone light. Then a second later, I was hungover from wine coolers, trying to write a 10-page paper in an hour. And then, the next moment, I was 30, in a station wagon, picking up diaper cream from the CVS. True story.

'Tis the season to be silly

2009-12-15T16:05:00.001-06:00

I feel a little sorry for you if you don't have someone like this in your life. This image was used without permission, stolen from Rich's facebook page. He took this while doing laundry.

Road Rage

2009-12-15T08:15:00.004-06:00

Say you are driving along a 3-lane highway. You come upon a sign warning that the left lane will be closed in 1/2 mile. You see that people are already merging. You, a good citizen of the road, also merge. Then, you see a car ZOOM by in the left lane, passings dozens of cars for the full 1/2 mile, proceeding all the way up to the point of the merge, and then cutting over at the last minute, probably rushing off on very important business, shaving off a few minutes of their daily trip to Whataburger to beat the lunch crowd.

Rage isn't the word.

Do you think inconsiderate, selfish drivers can simultaneously be good, decent, kind people? I am really torn on this. I think that, likely, this behavior carries over into other aspects of life. I know it is not right for me to curse a complete stranger, someone I know nothing about except that they have just been an ass-hat at this one moment in time. But I can't help myself. I curse them. I curse them for behaving as though their time is more important than mine. Despicable!

The Family Unit

2009-11-23T08:28:00.002-06:00

I am pleased to report that we are spending Thanksgiving this year up in Vermont. Adam took Gus up there early Saturday. They were on a plane by the time I was wrapping up my shift at work. I was worried to death about how Gus would do, feeling a little bad that Adam would be dealing with a potentially squirmy 1-year old without any help. But, as usual, my worries were completely without merit and Gus was a total champ. To Adam's credit, he wasn't even remotely concerned about how the trip would go. (Daddies. Different than Mommies.)

So, I've had the last 3 days to myself. It was pretty glorious, but every moment of enjoyment was coupled with the thought, "I wonder what Gus and Adam are up to!" I can't help but think that I just missed 3 days of his life. Depending on how you look at it (I look at it from an every-day-is-precious standpoint), that's a lot of missed time. But don't think I moped around pining after my baby. I did enjoy the quiet and the ability to lounge and read and eat in peace.

This little baby holiday just reinforced to me how much we really are a family unit now. Even though Adam and I have retained a healthy amount of our independent selves since having Gus, the 3 of us are one functional being, and something just feels incomplete when we are separated.

So you can imagine I'm pretty excited to be getting on a plane in a few hours to rejoin them. Going to Vermont is always such a special thing. I love seeing Adam on his home turf. In case I don't blog again this week, hope y'all have a wonderful Thanksgiving!

A year ago...

2009-11-10T08:12:00.003-06:00

this splotchy red alien creature was born

I'll pen a more sentimental post later today, but we have a crazy busy day ahead of us. Just didn't want the morning to pass without a mention.
We love you baby Gus!

Have you ever.....

2009-10-27T19:34:00.002-05:00

weaned a baby? If so, help!

So, the one year birthday is coming up, and my kid WON'T EAT! I am still nursing him 4-5 times a day, and I think my supply is dwindling because he stays totally restless during these nursing sessions. I have been trying to push the solids and it is just not taking. The only things he will eat consistently are yogurt, guacamole, and bananas. I try to give him everything that we are eating, and he just ends up playing with it and throwing it on the floor. If I try to spoon-feed him anything other than yogurt, he puckers his lips out and turns his head away.

Also, he resists the sippy cup. Won't drink juice. Will barely drink milk.

How am I supposed to wean him? I feel like he's not getting enough calories as it is. If I quit nursing altogether, will he just eventually get so hungry that he'll start experimenting and eating new things?

I really don't know what to do! Any advice is greatly appreciated. I need him weaned by November 21st.

Tang Pie

2009-10-21T21:47:00.003-05:00

I can't really explain the role Tang Pie has had in the Wolfe family. It wasn't a featured item at every holiday or anything like that, but we had it enough that I felt like it was a pretty normal thing to eat. You know how you don't really question these things until it comes up in conversation one day in your twenties and your friend is like "Wha????? Tang Pie???"

Or, maybe you are 22 and at a company meeting in Ireland and one of the icebreaker conversations was to name the weirdest thing you've ever eaten. You lean over to your boss and whisper "Is squirrel a weird thing to eat?" and she looks back at you with horror, and then you are definitely the person in the room who has eaten the weirdest thing.

Anyway, the point is that sometimes it takes a 3rd party to point out the culinary oddities of your life. Now back to Tang Pie.

The recipe is just as easy and redneck as you might imagine: 1 can Sweetened Condensed milk, 1/2 c tang, 1/2 pint sour cream, 1 1/2 cups cool whip. Mix all together, spoon into prepared graham cracker crust, and chill or freeze.

Please please please, make this for your loved ones and report back.

R

2009-10-21T21:36:00.002-05:00

.. is the most menacing sound. That's why they call it "murder" and not "muk-duk."

I love Dwight.

It's time again.....

2009-10-13T07:58:00.002-05:00

....for the latest installment of the Lornitzo household Google search history.

pass performance
how to pick the right plantain
"one of these days alice"
bitch is back
insipid
I.com
stephen king beard
glycerin suppositories
does the eardrum stretch
roomba
mechanical pecan cracker

My favorite is "I.com." Why wouldn't we just have typed that into the URL space and gone straight to the site if we were so curious?

In case you were wondering, I.com is available for purchase. But the kind folks at Yahoo suggested that maybe I was really looking for "Withnail and I" or "I Ching." That makes a lot of sense if you think about it.

The Remains of the Day

2009-10-12T11:49:00.004-05:00

The girl who was coming over on Mondays to watch Gus while I slept a few hours moved away. Far, far away. So the past few Mondays have been, shall we say, freckin' brutal. Usually I am extraordinarily chipper the first hour after I get home, like my brain is over-correcting for the fatigue in my bones, and for a brief moment, the trickery works and I think, "This ain't so bad. What." I make great plans to go to libraries, gyms, grocery stores. I anticipate afternoon crafting sessions, baking, cleaning. I'll get out a few packages in the mail, I'll think. Or, I'll power wash the side of the house later, for certain! Oh and I've been meaning for months to go out and clean/rearrange the shed. Isn't today a lovely day for such a massive project!?

Then 8:30 happens, and I am incapacitated. I hit the mother-lovin' wall. Sometimes literally - I run into walls. And I never accomplish anything, no matter how remotely trivial, for the remainder of the day.

Luckily, this is usually is the neighborhood of naptime for Gus, so it's not a big fight to get him to sleep. But oh how fleeting is that time. We wake up in what feels like 90 seconds. Or, in today's case, Gus wakes up and I put him in the floor in my sleep and continue on sleeping. Then LATER I wake up to him crying and have a flash of panic as I realize I didn't close the door to the nursery, so my curious 11-month old is wandering around a house that is not 100% baby-proofed while his mother sleeps on the futon.

Mother of the Year Award 2009? Why, I'm honored! I'd like to thank the little people. That means you Gus. Thanks for not crashing through any windows or eating any chemicals while I was dreaming about Jimmy Smits.

Songs you don't mind having stuck in your head

2009-10-01T14:01:00.002-05:00

"After the Gold Rush" Neil Young

Speaking of Neil Young, on our anniversary about a week ago, Adam and I got in the car to go out and what song popped up immediately on our random shuffle but "Harvest Moon," the song we danced to at our wedding. We couldn't believe it. Such a sweet moment. Then and now.

I got robbed, by oats

2009-10-01T10:46:00.004-05:00

This morning for breakfast, I totally rocked it. Had a bowl of oatmeal (not instant, people, the real deal) with just a pinch of brown sugar, to which I added raisins and walnuts. With a cup of milk on the side to wash down my multivitamin.

It was so healthy, I died. Then I came back to life, sat down, and tallied up how many Weight Watchers points I just consumed. Imagine my shock when I found that this breakfast amounted to HALF of what I should eat in a day. What??? Bogus.

Buckethead

2009-09-29T21:28:00.003-05:00

She's baaaack!

2009-09-29T19:56:00.003-05:00

Sincere apologies for leaving y'all hanging for more than 2 weeks with nothing but insipid Paula Cole lyrics staring at you. And by "you" I mean mom, Ashley and John, who are probably the only people out there still reading this blog.

FALL IS HERE!! I am so excited and so is everyone else in my universe. It's all anyone is talking about on Facebook. That, and football of course. It's my favorite time of year, the most invigorating. In fact, when I woke up this morning and felt the cool crisp air outside, I got busy!! I dressed myself and Gus, got the stroller out of the car, and started loading up the ipod for an epic morning walk. I was pumped! Well then I had to update Itunes, which took forever. Then I got hung up on investigating whether I could download old issues of the This American Life podcast for free (I couldn't). Then it was like 9:00 and Gus was sleepy. And you know what, I was starting to feel a little sleepy too with all that computer activity! So I figured we'd just take a little nap and do our epic morning walk after that. So we crawled in bed. By the time we woke up at 11:30, well it was just too late for an epic morning walk, and we couldn't do an epic afternoon walk because we were helping a friend move.

Oh well!

I DID make it to the gym tonight, however, so the adrenaline I got this morning from weather actually was not wasted, as it seemed it might be this morning. And now that I've got the ipod issues sorted out, maybe we'll go on a big walk tomorrow morning!

So, I had a really really long hiatus from the gym. We're talking, about 2 months. Totally shameful. I was in a groove. I was training for a 5K. I was losing weight. I was happy and feeling great! Then I went on vacation and it all went to hell. And I am just now taking baby steps back into a fitness routine. I had to start all the way back at the beginning with my running regimen, which is a bummer.

I have to find a way to avoid letting life's interruptions completely derail my efforts at healthier living. I tend to have an "all or nothing" attitude about eating right and exercising, which is not effective at all. I have a bad habit of using poor choices as a pass to keep making poor choices the rest of the day, week, month, whatever. As in, "well, I had a cheeseburger and fries for lunch, so it doesn't matter what I do for dinner, since the day is already shot. May as well totally pig out and do absolutely nothing to raise my heart rate." It's embarrassing to even admit that, but it's the truth. Anyway, if anyone out there has some advice or encouragement regarding this, I am all ears!

Most Annoying Lyric

2009-09-11T12:39:00.003-05:00

"So open up your morning light
Say a little prayer for I"

Ugh. It's both bad grammar and bad poetry. Just awful.

Why am I blogging about an easy listening song from 1997? Because radio stations still play this crap!!

10 months

2009-09-10T14:33:00.003-05:00

Deception

2009-08-21T12:08:00.002-05:00

I thought we had a good night of sleep in the bag after seeing this sleepy face. Not so.

New Favorite Picture

2009-08-20T15:34:00.003-05:00

We are back from our vacation to Colorado, and it was just awesome. This picture pretty much sums it up, taken on the drive to Colorado and capturing 3 of my favorite things on earth: Gus, Beth, and the open road.

Score!

2009-08-20T15:31:00.001-05:00

It's a relatively new thing for me to have a decently stocked kitchen. So it's still a surprise when I am able to go whip up some cookies without a trip to the grocery store. Isn't this some sort of milestone of adulthood that I've reached? Anyone else pat yourself on the back when this happens?

Minding my own business...

2009-08-03T21:13:00.003-05:00

Adam and I were having dinner at Subway after the gym (violating my "no more fast food" vow I made on my 30th birthday but nevermind about that) innocently eating our sandwich, when suddenly our senses were violated by the voice of Taylor Dane blasting overhead.

I wonder if there was ever a more atrocious female voice to hit the airwaves. Can you think of one? I honestly can't.

If you can stomach her grating voice, this video is nothing short of perfection.

Time Travel

2009-07-26T17:07:00.003-05:00

I encountered this sign just the other day at a local McDonald's. I'll be sure to go back to 1995 and inform my grandma. She'll be stoked.

Goals

2009-07-26T08:01:00.003-05:00

Adam and I are trying to go this whole weekend eating only fruits and vegetables (and diet coke and coffee for me, and, apparently 1 bag of peanut M&M's for Adam). We started Friday afternoon.

I don't really know why we're doing this. I guess just to make sure we have at least a shred of discipline. And maybe there are some detox benefits to it, but I have nothing to back up that claim.

Yesterday Adam said, "You know this wouldn't be so bad if I could just eat some meat." Um, agreed. Then he wondered out loud what you call a person who eats only fruits, vegetables, and meat, but no other animal products. I said I didn't believe that person exists, and if he does, he doesn't get his own category because that's just stupid.

What is wrong with this world, Exhibit A

2009-07-17T01:33:00.001-05:00

Company's come and gone

2009-07-15T15:24:00.005-05:00

Just said goodbye, sadly, to my friend Ryan, who very sweetly drove nearly 30 hours out of his way to come see us for a few days (Gulfport is not exactly on the way from Chicago to Oklahoma City.) Ryan and Gus were completely taken with one another. It is such a wonderful thing seeing a dear old friend loving my kid so much. Here is a fantastic picture Ryan took right before he left.

8 Months

2009-07-10T17:34:00.002-05:00

The REAL Mother Goose

2009-07-09T17:13:00.002-05:00

Anyone remember the nursery rhyme that begins like so:

"Robin and Richard were two pretty men
They laid in bed til the clock struck ten."

????

Anyone?

Yeah, me neither. Who knew Mother Goose was so progressive?

One step forward, two steps back

2009-07-05T15:21:00.001-05:00

I have been working lately on becoming less cynical. I don't like that side of myself. It's not a becoming trait. But I got majorly derailed this weekend in that effort now that Palin is back in the headlines.

Speaking of boyz....

2009-06-30T22:03:00.002-05:00

Otherworldly. Unimaginable.

2009-06-30T21:05:00.002-05:00

$500????????

2009-06-30T20:36:00.002-05:00

Boyz II Men

Vanilla Ice and Tiffany came to the Beau, and tickets for that were $10. I thought THAT was steep. $500 for Boyz II Men? Wow. Although, come to think of it, "On Bended Knee" was high art.

Ugh

2009-06-29T16:09:00.004-05:00

Is there anything more annoying than a place calling itself "JavaWerks?"

I think not. I cannot stand this. Also, Krispy Kreme. Why God Why??? Just call yourself Crispy Cream. There is no harm in it. Really. People would still come to you. You make delicious donuts.

So, JavaWerks already had one strike against them because of that stupid "e." But then they charged me 50 extra cents to make my latte iced instead of hot. Um, I get that the ice costs a little bit of money, but what about the money you are saving by not using as much milk to fill my cup. Couldn't we call it even? The 3rd strike was when the barista didn't put the lid on all the way, thus causing me to spill my pink raspberry latte all down my white shirt.

Sweet. All of this for $6.00. (What recession?)

But it tasted awesome, and the caffeine got me safely from Hattiesburg to Jackson. I will probably go back. It beat Starbucks.

Correction

2009-06-29T16:08:00.003-05:00

My mom thought I should edit my Father's Day post because, really, my dad wears cut-off sweats far more often than cut-off jeans.

Growing up

2009-06-29T16:05:00.004-05:00

Gus does funny stuff. Well, it's funny to me and Adam. It might be boring to you. So I put him down to go crawling, which he does. And it seems I am always finding him now after a few minutes in some random spot, just lying on his back, babbling to himself. Happy as can be. It makes me laugh. I don't know if he's just lazy and gets tired of crawling, or if he just prefers the vantage point of being on his back. Anyway, I love to hear him talking. Can't wait for those first words!

Who's Your Daddy?

2009-06-21T17:01:00.003-05:00

Mine is Joe Wolfe. It would be impossible to sum him up in a blog post, so I won't try. I've never heard anyone else talk about his or her father and thought, "Hey, that sounds like my dad!" If you've met him, you know what I mean. It's easy and tempting to paint my dad as a caricature, and I have done this and still do it a lot. All my friends love to hear stories about my dad. My rogue, towboat captain dad, lover of figs and pecans, freestyle hunter, obsessive music downloader, wearer of jean cut-off shorts, advocate of concealed weapons, chewer of ABC gum, passionate teeth-brusher, selective law-abider who is always up for arm-wrestling and will probably beat you no matter how much younger you are than him.

But he's not a caricature. He's human, and he's a great father. He isn't great just because he came to every dance recital and every choir concert without complaining, when those were clearly not his things. He's great because he would pick me up and carry me to bed when I was little, even when he must have known that I had only pretended to fall asleep in front of the tv just so he would pick me up and carry me to bed. He's great because when I would cry the night before he had to leave to go back on the boat for a few weeks, he would say, "Now don't you cry or you're gonna make me cry too." (Honestly, you probably can't picture him saying this, but I can.) He's great because he never once thought it was worth much to try to keep up with the Joneses (I don't either, because of him). He's great because even though his formal education ended with a GED, I am positive he's smarter than me and my brothers combined, with our 6 college degrees. He's great because he's unwavering about being Joe Wolfe. He's incapable of being anything but Joe Wolfe.

He's great because he fathered my brothers, one of which has turned into a really great father himself, and the other whom I have no doubt will be a truly wonderful father one day.

I always think, on this day, of my many good friends who lost their fathers at young ages. (Seriously, it's really bizarre how many friends I have whose fathers have passed.) I celebrate these men, even though I never got a chance to meet them. And I mourn with my friends who have recently lost their fathers and who undoubtedly had a very tough day today.

I love my daddy and I'm so lucky to have him!

The Healer

2009-06-14T07:57:00.003-05:00

On my short drive home from work this morning, less than 2 hours after I wheeled a young patient of mine down to the morgue, I nearly squashed a few squirrels in the road with my front tires. I was distracted, I guess, by the smell of death that seemed to be permanently seared into my nostrils. But no, it wasn't permanent. When I peered over Gus's crib rail and received that big gummy morning grin of his, I forgot about cold morgues. Then later, after I had bathed away all the hospital grime and sadness, I buried my nose in his sweet chubby folds and just inhaled. Deeply.

7 months

2009-06-10T21:54:00.003-05:00

He was still on the inside longer than he's been on the outside. That is comforting to me. 7 months is a flash. Every day is a flash. Every second. It's very hard remembering my pre-Gus existence. Good thing I don't have any need or desire to. I don't deserve all these blessings, but I'm sure thankful.

Gus and I dig this.

2009-06-10T17:30:00.000-05:00

Constanza "Stanzi" Gladsome Wolfe

2009-05-26T16:11:00.003-05:00

My mom, animal lover, whose dream was to be a veterinarian when she was little, made the difficult decision to have her German Shepherd, Stanzi, put down yesterday. Stanzi lived to be 13 1/2 years old. She was a little crazy in the head, to put it nicely, but a very loyal and beautiful dog in her day. We named her Stanzi after Mozart's wife (bunch of nerds we were!!!). My dad, hilariously, gave her her middle name. Where "Gladsome" came from, we'll never know. I guess she made him happy. I'm sure my dad would never outright admit to something like that, but there you have it.

I was a junior in high school when we got Stanzi, so she was my dog too. I remember hanging out at my boyfriend's house and my mom called me and told me I needed to come home ASAP, but she wouldn't tell me why. When I walked in the door, this beautiful and spunky little puppy greeted me and then slept in a ball on my pillow next to my head for the next several weeks. She kept me from getting too lonely, since my brothers had both moved out of the house at this point. She was loved!

I know there is usually some guilt necessarily built into a decision to have a pet put to sleep, but Mom, I know you made the right decision and you honored your dog by letting her maintain her dignity at the end.

R.I.P. Stanzi!

Mexican Chocolate Tofu Pudding

2009-05-23T14:20:00.003-05:00

Yes, you read that right. Tofu Pudding. This recipe is out of this world!! So good you wanna slap yo mama!! Also, it is ridiculously easy to make.

Some notes of my own: I used a little more than 8 ounces of chocolate and the consistency of my pudding turned into more of a mousse. I also used a full teaspoon of chili powder and I still couldn't taste it. Next time, I will use chili powder AND cayenne pepper for an extra kick. Lastly, I did not chill mine in separate ramekins but rather in one large bowl and it took about 2 hours to chill properly.

You really do not taste tofu at all in this, but it gives the pudding such a wonderful texture.

Time: 10 minutes, plus 30 minutes’ chilling
3/4 cup sugar
1 pound silken tofu (*silken is the same as soft*)
8 ounces high-quality bittersweet or semisweet chocolate, melted
1 teaspoon vanilla extract
1 1/2 teaspoons ground cinnamon
1/2 teaspoon chili powder, or more to taste
Chocolate shavings (optional).

1. In a small pot, combine sugar with 3/4 cup water; bring to a boil and cook until sugar is dissolved, stirring occasionally. Cool slightly.

2. Put all ingredients except for chocolate shavings in a blender and purée until completely smooth, stopping machine to scrape down its sides if necessary. Divide among 4 to 6 ramekins and chill for at least 30 minutes. If you like, garnish with chocolate shavings before serving.

Recipe courtesy of the great Mark Bittman.

Poll Results

2009-05-22T05:29:00.003-05:00

Only 2 of 15 respondents believe I am remiss in dressing my baby. Not bad. I'll keep rocking the white trash onesies in public, at least until he starts walking and needs shoes.

And now, a "Did you really just ask me that?" nursing story

2009-05-20T22:07:00.004-05:00

As I was getting ready to leave the hospital Monday morning after a fairly grueling weekend, I was making my rounds, clearing out IV pumps, wishing my patients well, and seeing who wanted to be doped up one more time before day shift came on.

One of my patient's had a husband who was, shall we say, on the simple side. Red muscle shirt, unkempt facial hair, a bicep tattoo of a big bald eagle, trucker cap with a rebel flag on it, avid watcher of Ultimate Fighting Championship (which I gathered from the violent fist-pumping behavior he displayed while watching said fighting on TV as I was trying to get a history from my patient). This sounds like a caricature, but this is a real person.

Making my way out of the room, I say to the patient, "Your nurse today will be Samantha. She'll take good care of you, blah blah blah." The husband looks at me at whispers, "Is she white or black?" I said, "I don't see what possible difference that makes." Then he got all defensive and started faux-laughing, "Hey I didn't mean anything by it! Wow you really got a problem with that don't you? I was just wanting to know if she was black or white." To which I said, with a forced smile, "I guess you'll find out soon enough."

Then I sincerely wished the patient good luck, as she was one of the sicker patients on our floor, and skeedaddled.

I'm sure I'll get a negative customer service complaint on a stupid Press Gainey evaluation, but I don't care. I refuse to answer stupid questions fully loaded with racism. Don't care how simple ya are, don't care if that's all you've ever known, don't care if you've never been shown another way. I'm not telling you in advance what color your nurse's skin is so you can sit there and be satisfied or apprehensive, depending on who you're getting. Nope. Not playing.

Appropriately dressed?

2009-05-20T21:58:00.001-05:00

Our recent google search history ....

2009-05-20T20:54:00.006-05:00

In the last few weeks, either Adam or I typed the following into our google search bar:

- whisk
- how do you pronounce goethe
- how many cups in a quart
- my meat store (??)
- eleanor rigby lyrics
- helen keller hips
- how to become a technical writer
- pour one out
- guard la dame
- forecast percent chance meaning
- ink stain removal
- orbital pain
- tapioca substitute
- types of plastic

What a bizarre and wonderful time to be alive!

And I am definitely adding "The Tapioca Substitutes" to my long-running list of band names to draw from when I form a band someday.

Overheard Conversation

2009-05-17T22:09:00.002-05:00

Visitor: "'Member that woman I had axed to marry me? We was supposed to get married a few months ago."
Patient: "Which one? The one that had done kilt her husband?"
Visitor: "Naw naw, the other one, the one who had been hooking up with that other woman's sister."
Patient: "Oh yeah!"

No joke.

1/2 year

2009-05-13T23:50:00.004-05:00

I shamefully let Gus's 6 month birthday on Sunday pass without a mention. I am pretty convinced the 6 month old is the most perfect creature on earth.

Stats:
19 pounds, 5 ounces (75th %)
26.75 inches (80th %)

Milestones met:
- plays with hands and feet
- recognizes own name
- rolls over in both directions
- sits without support
- mouths objects

Not quite but working on it:
- passes objects from hand to hand
- lunges forward/starts crawling
- combines syllables
- drags objects towards himself

Blessed are the pure in heart, for they shall see God.

2009-05-12T12:59:00.002-05:00

Uncle Ben passed away a little after noon. They decided to stop his pressors (drugs used to keep blood pressure up), but kept him on the vent. Within minutes of turning those drugs off, he slipped away peacefully and in no apparent pain or distress. Thanks for all the thoughts and prayers. He was surrounded by loved ones at the time of his death. I am so grateful for that.

Benny Boy

2009-05-12T09:30:00.005-05:00

It is going to be a very hard and sad day for my family, as my great Uncle Ben is succumbing to a severe case of double pneumonia. He is in the ICU on a ventilator and is struggling mightily even with all the assistance that machine provides. He was born with Down Syndrome, and my grandmother, aka Nanny, has taken care of him, her baby brother, his whole life, but particularly after their mother died many many years ago. He is her world, and watching them over the years has been so amazing and inspirational. I doubt there are many more impressive examples of loyalty. I've certainly never seen any.

When I was little, I remember being afraid of my Uncle Ben, as I imagine most small children would be unless they were constantly around people with Down Syndrome. As much as I didn't want to go "hug his neck," as I was instructed to, I was rightly made to by my parents. Nobody gives a more epic hug than Uncle Ben. They could last for an hour if you let it. I must have been in high school before I began to really appreciate and enjoy the scope of these hugs. It was then that I stopped pulling away after just a second or two and learned how to stay in the hug as long as he wanted.

I went up to Vicksburg to see him and my Nanny last week, and Nick and I are going to go up there this afternoon most likely. Nanny is making some incredibly hard end-of-life decisions probably as I type this. I am proud that my 2 aunts, nurses themselves, (also a study in the beauty of loyalty) are helping her and her sister, my great Aunt Martha, navigate some impossible choices. I know the priority will be a dignified and peaceful end. Please pray for calm reassurance, for my Nanny, that she is doing the right thing. Please pray for my Uncle Ben, that he will somehow feel all the love surrounding him right now.

Uncle Ben and Gus, Thanksgiving 2008

Mommyin' it up poolside

2009-05-10T18:27:00.002-05:00

Appropriation

2009-05-10T03:31:00.004-05:00

Anyone know of any cool Mother's Day/Father's Day traditions that I can hijack? I strongly prefer to keep these holidays simple in our family, with the one obvious exception of the $100 gently used Dale Earnhardt, Jr. cardboard cutout, which I fully expect to see in my bedroom in the morning when I get home, and if I don't, will have to consider my first Mother's Day a massive failure.

I will generally take any excuse to celebrate anything at all, but I also bemoan the fact that the true spirit of pretty much every holiday becomes overshadowed by commerce and tangible things. I don't ever want Adam or Gus to feel that I will be disappointed if I'm not showered with jewelry, flowers, spa gift certificates, etc. I'd much rather adopt some simple but special practice that we can play out each year with our kids to celebrate our role in their lives.

Please share how you commemorate these occasions!

Mother's Day Wishlist

2009-05-08T22:42:00.009-05:00

Hopefully this isn't gone by tomorrow. Adam assures me he is going to get it for me first thing in the morning.

Click here to see every new mother's most coveted item!

My favorite part of the ad is when he invites us to email him with any questions. What question could you possibly have about a cardboard cutout of Dale Earnhardt Jr? The only one that comes to mind is, "What exactly are you smoking that makes you think this is worth $100?"

2009-05-08T17:53:00.002-05:00

Pride goeth before a fall

2009-05-08T17:46:00.002-05:00

The pie wasn't that great. I got cocky and figured I could eyeball the lemon juice component without measuring. Fatal mistake. It was a very tart blueberry pie. Serves me right for being all, "Look at me, look at me!! Look at this gorgeous pie created by ME! ME ME ME ME ME!!"

Countdown

2009-04-30T11:30:00.003-05:00

There's about 8 hours between me and this pie. How will I ever get through it?

My blechiness

2009-04-28T14:23:00.003-05:00

My friend John and I hardly ever agree about music. He thinks all the indie bands I like are worthless. I just received this email (subject line: "your blechiness") from him about that John Vanderslice video I put up:

"the video on your blog of that musician you like wouldn't play, so i looked him up on youtube. he is possibly the worst musician of all time --any planet, any species. Seriously, did you buy your taste in music at K-Mart? Did you hold onto the receipt? Maybe you can at least get store credit and get a nice ShamWow for your kitchen."

The only thing that really bothers me about this is the fact that I can't give him any grief for his musical tastes because it is all pretty classic. If only he liked Nickelback, then I could exact some revenge. But alas, I am defenseless. I like what I like and he doesn't. Nothing more to say. Except I really do want a ShamWow and anything else this guy wants to sell me:

Ostentatious much?

2009-04-28T13:54:00.005-05:00

So I feel a bit hypocritical when it comes to baby crap out on the market. On the one hand, I enjoy snarking over such necessities as baby cages and shopping cart seat covers. We are pretty minimal here. We don't have any baby DVDs, only 1 battery-operated noise-making bright plastic thing that spazzes out (which Adam confessed he was growing attached to), no big garish walker thingies or baby "gyms" that take up half the living room. Gus plays really well with whatever you give him (right now he is discovering a whisk), as all babies do, and he is developing just fine.

I don't want to be too precious about things, so is it psychotic for me to buy an $18 stainless steel sippy cup because I don't want him drinking out of plastic? How about an $8 set of bamboo baby utensils? Do I believe it is going to hurt Gus to use a plastic spoon? No, but I'd rather him use as many natural materials as possible. Adam and I don't eat with plastic utensils, nor do we drink out of plastic cups, generally speaking. Why should Gus? It's not outrageous for me to want him to handle a wooden object over a Polystyrene one, right?

Ah, the ridiculously decadent and privileged life of an American mother, writing a blog about what utensils to use for her darling 6-month old baby as she sits at home on a Tuesday afternoon at 2:00. I need to get out of the house.

Looking forward

2009-04-28T13:51:00.002-05:00

I'm really excited about John Vanderslice's next album coming out in May! I love this guy. And you probably will too. Check him out.

"Oh dressed like that, you are the flag of a dangerous nation." Fabulous!

Real Men Wear Pink

2009-04-24T23:03:00.003-05:00

Gus went sailing today!! More details to follow. Bed is calling.

Inaugural trip to the pool!

2009-04-19T18:03:00.003-05:00

This picture doesn't show it, but Gus really loved the water!

Could it be....

2009-04-18T03:29:00.004-05:00

that I have been parting my hair on the wrong side all these years? Certain recent pictures make me wonder.

I'm considering doing something drastic to my hair. A 30-year old woman should not be rocking a ponytail every single day, no?

Bootylicious

2009-04-13T16:24:00.003-05:00

Cloth diapers certainly add a bunch of junk to one's trunk!!

Gus, Inc. has a high turnover rate!

2009-04-09T13:06:00.006-05:00

2009-04-08T22:19:00.001-05:00

Gorilla Impersonation

2009-04-07T15:32:00.005-05:00

Separated at birth, part II

2009-04-07T15:16:00.004-05:00

"I AM serious, and don't call me Shirley."

Thanks to my cousin Libby, who noticed the hair similarity.

Buttergus and his Aunt Anna

2009-04-07T14:58:00.003-05:00

Adam's baby sister came for a visit, a much too brief visit. Here are some pics of her and The Gus. Shouldn't all babies have a young, hip Aunt who just loves them to pieces? We miss you already Anna!!

Yeah, about that

2009-04-06T22:26:00.003-05:00

Yesterday morning when I came home from work, I had a vision that came down from on high during my previous night at work. I relayed this to Adam the second I walked in the door, who dutifully opened Photoshop and spent 30 minutes of his life (that he'll never get back), creating the picture of Gus in the "Dahlia Daisy" wig from BabyBangs. So, you suckers who thought that was real and that I would spend $30 hard-earned dollars on a freakin' baby wig, consider yourselves PWNED. April Fool!

I love Adam.

I love my bald baby.

I love 3 AM blog inspiration. And Photoshop.

And I love you.

That is all.

Seriously y'all

2009-04-05T09:29:00.004-05:00

I know I make a lot of jokes about Gus's head and its striking lack of hair, but I don't think anyone really understands just how much it sincerely bothers me that he is bald. All my life I have fantasized about having a baby with a gorgeous head of hair, and although I love Gus dearly, sometimes I just don't know how to handle this handicap. Well, lucky for me, I stumbled across "Baby Bangs!", an internet company that sells baby wigs. Now, the website says these are "made just for girls!" but I take serious issue with that sort of blatant sexism and certainly did not let their misguided motto stop me from ordering "Baby Bangs" for my Angus. Just look at this picture of Gus perfected and tell me this was not worth $29.95 plus shipping!! Nevermind the look of utter disgust on his face. He just has to get used to it! And y'all, it even came "lightly fragranced" and "ready2wear" just like the ad said!

If you have a bald-headed baby in your life, the only remedy you need is at www.babybangshairband.com.

2009-04-02T23:20:00.001-05:00

"Karr may have me with his beautiful, luscious blonde locks, but I'm OWNING Bram on head size."

2009-04-02T23:16:00.002-05:00

Gus clearly does not understand the concept of a baby with hair.

Adipose

2009-04-02T22:44:00.003-05:00

No, that's not a stack of donuts. That's the side of my baby's torso. Ain't no shame in his game!

XXX

2009-04-02T22:29:00.002-05:00

Thanks to everyone for the birthday wishes. You made me feel completely loved as I reached such a ripe age. I am honestly excited about the 30's. Everything just seems to get better and better as I go!

However. I did feel a bit geriatric, getting unnaturally excited about my new KitchenAid mixer from Adam and the quilting supplies from Mom. Oh, and the apricot tree from Adam - now that my bowels are so old, I can really use an extra source of fiber I guess.

I have to hand it to my husband. He took me out for dinner and didn't bat an eye at the $10 cocktails. And then when we went shopping for sunglasses after dinner, my final birthday present, his specific instructions were for me to spend an irresponsible amount of money so I wouldn't feel too grown up. Love him!

Of course the most fabulous birthday present was my newborn nephew, Karr, who finally made it home this afternoon! Gus and I went over to Nick's for a visit tonight and just reveled in the beauty of his family. Life is so good!

Just the 3 of us - for a few more hours

2009-03-31T09:59:00.004-05:00

I don't know why that last picture won't right itself, but I don't have time to fool with it. It appears straight on my computer screen, but not when I post it. Bugger!

Anyway, here are the 3 Wolfe children, in the pre-Karr era:

Gotta scoot back over to the hospital and enjoy this, my LAST DAY OF MY TWENTIES!! I'll put some more pictures up tonight.

Mama Wolfe

2009-03-31T09:53:00.004-05:00

Cristi is going to murder me for this, but I don't care. (She will lose all of her baby weight by this time next week, so we'll call it even!) We must recognize her for the amazing woman she is. She has so much of the best, purest, most selfless love to give, and this new baby is blessed beyond his wildest imaginations to have her for a mother.

Caboose. Omega. Zed. Finis.

2009-03-31T09:38:00.005-05:00

You have no idea how badly I wanted to blog last night when I got home, but it was just too late and we were simply too tired. It killed me not to post a picture of the brand new, beautiful baby boy Karr Wolfe, who came in at 7 lbs 14 oz, and 19 1/2 inches at 8:25 PM!

He has a thick head of super blonde hair. Shocking, I know. Gorgeous, DARK blue eyes. He is a looker. He reminds me exactly of Emmaline when she was a newborn. The kids were tickled to death about their new baby brother. And Gus is beyond excited to have someone to show the ropes to. Gus and Karr will be in the same grade, which makes me so happy for them. I have no doubt they will be besties like me and Ashley! Hmmm. Did I just say "besties?" Yep. I'm leaving it. Trying to get back in touch with my inner 7th grader.

As a side note: when is the last time you literally jumped up and down with excitement? For me, it was last night. What a blessed, amazing day. The first of my brother's children that I got to welcome into this life.

Here is the deliciousness:

Necks are for losers!!

2009-03-27T10:46:00.001-05:00

Snapshot

2009-03-26T18:57:00.002-05:00

Both of our vehicles have been without functional stereos for nearly a year now. We have been driving around with only our thoughts and conversation to entertain. Well, Adam finally bought a stereo for the Jeep and installed it tonight. He is currently in said Jeep, just sitting there parked, listening to Metallica full-blast, and I am amused. I have no doubt when the Volvo gets its new stereo, I'll do the same, (just not with Metallica).

Itty Bitty Jet Setter

2009-03-18T23:03:00.006-05:00

Gus on the NYC subway on his way to a jazz club in Greenwich Village, followed by a ridiculously good dinner at a Peruvian restaurant, where his mommy ate yucca and drank a pisco sour for the first time!

Wedded Bliss

2009-03-18T20:21:00.004-05:00

Mary Blaney is now Mary McCarthy! Adam, Gus, and I had the most fantastic time at the wedding. You have never seen a calmer bride! She did 99% of the planning herself, and it all came together flawlessly. I'm not kidding - there were absolutely no last-minute blunders or moments of "Oh my God what about X??????" She was absolutely the AntiBridezilla.

It was great to be able to get up there several days before the wedding just to hang out before the madness. Words cannot express what a dream baby Gus was the entire time. He is such a go-with-the-flow little guy and totally not a big deal to travel with. I am prepared for the possibility that it might not always be this easy, but for now, I'm so grateful!

As a side note, it is SO much more fun to go to weddings now that I'm married because I get to relive my wedding all over again!

travel day

2009-03-10T10:55:00.002-05:00

Gus and I are at the airport about to board the plane, heading to Mary's wedding! This is my first time flying with him without Adam. Wish us luck!